Category Archives: #BombshellCode

New Outlook, Who Dis?

December 24, 2019 Liberata Leave a comment

It’s official. Being single in your 30’s might just be the worst title one can have today. And before any of my feminist friends lose their shit at me for this declaration, hear me out first.

You see, I’ve been quite comfortable moving through life at my own single speed. Sure, I’ve had a few great “almost, maybe” relationships, but none of them ever ended in “happily ever after”. And that’s okay. Because being single is fabulous, right? You can do whatever you want, whenever you want. You don’t have to share anything. Or compromise. You get the entire bed to yourself. And my favorite part- every day is literally brimming with the excitement of the possibility that you could meet THE ONE. In other words, when you’re single, you almost feel like the rest of your life is still one big, exciting question mark, and your future is still full of unlimited possibilities (I know, I know- que Natasha Bedingfield’s Unwritten).

Okay, so maybe that’s just my only child syndrome showing, or maybe it’s my selfish nature to usually put myself first. And do every little thing myself (because who else can it better, right?). But more importantly, maybe it’s because in today’s world, I have to question how anyone could ever make another person happy, without first being happy with themselves. Sure I want the King to my Queen, but how can I financially contribute equally to a relationship when I’m still building my own empire? How am I supposed to inspire and motivate another person when I’m still so focused finding my own? Because after all, especially by today’s standards, success is something I should be able to build all by myself, and definitely not with the help of a partner.

The pressure of being a strong, independent female today is real, y’all. And truth be told- it’s exhausting.

So if you’re anything like me, you most likely spent your 20’s working hard to be the Boss Babe that you are now in your 30’s. I see you Queen. You ate your glitter for breakfast, and you became the proud poster child for #riseandgrind. You’re by no means rich (yet), but you’ve been able to support yourself, all the while successfully dodging fuckboys along the way. AND you probably did it all in heels. That in itself should earn you a trophy. Or at the very least a vacation.

Except there is no trophy. And there is no vacation. Instead, there’s only another level, or another new goal you’ve decided you need to reach. Which means more glitter will be needed, and more rising and grinding will be done before we might finally be able to declare ourselves as “happy”. To be fair, I’m not sure what exactly happens to a person when they do successfully reach it. Maybe some internal light magically turns on similar to a taxi cab, letting men know that you’re finally qualified enough to be Wifey material. Or, maybe nothing happens at all, and we just have to continue dodging fuckboys until The One simply decides just to casually show up one day in some meet cute kind of way.

Or maybe, we can finally just stop worrying about it. And just keep crushing our goals while we live our life. For the record, this is the option I vote for.

So why is being single in your 30’s such a toxic title to have today? Well the truth is…. it isn’t. Or rather, you shouldn’t look at it that way. Because being judged for being single in your 30’s is really just a sign of the times, and not a sign of your life choices. Or perhaps I should say- a sign of the changing of times.

Let me explain….

Remember when you were young, and society had this normalized standard that you thought you had to follow to be successful? First you would go to college to get the job that would make the money, then you would meet Prince Charming somewhere in your 20’s, get married, and then finally, you would have the family and coveted white picket fence in your 30’s. It all sounds so lovely, right?

God, we were stupid….

Because as it would turn out, we would grow up as the generation that would rewrite the entire fucking script. The generation that proved you didn’t need to go to college to land the dream job. Instead, we realized we could skip the student loans, create our own dream jobs instead, and just start working for ourselves.

We realized the divorce rate was ridiculous, as most of us grew up in single parent homes. So we decided maybe getting married in your 20’s wasn’t the best idea, and we took our time instead. So we used our 20’s to live. We used our 20’s for travel. For experiences. And for an education that no classroom would have ever provided. And hopefully, through all that, you figured out just who “you” really were, and how much “you” were really capable of. And then to our surprise, we discovered the person we were in our 20’s would still yet somehow evolve into almost an entirely different person in our 30’s.

And now here we are in our 30’s, and we’re still learning. About ourselves, and about what we define as a successful life. For some of us it might still be that family with the white picket fence. But for others, it could be the apartment you’re still renting in NYC. Or maybe it’s living with your best friend in the Hollywood Hills. Or maybe it’s the old, but very shabby chic farmhouse with just enough property to shelter all the animals you rescued.

The point is- the only way to measure your success in life…. is you. Or more specifically, your happiness with where you are, right now.

So the truth is, maybe our 30’s are when we just need to stop. Stop with all of it. Stop with the standards. Stop with the timelines. Stop with the judgement. And to finally stop letting ridiculous factors like goals or wealth determine our own happiness with where we are in life, at this very moment.

And instead, maybe we just need to start looking at ourselves as individuals that each have their own idea of what happiness is. As individuals that are still learning. Still growing. And more importantly, individuals that are still making mistakes.

But above all, maybe your 30’s are for finally realizing the only things worth chasing in this crazy beautiful life, are the things that set your soul on fire.

#BombshellCode, Confessions, Sorry I'm No Sorry

2016: We Need To Talk

January 1, 2017 Liberata Leave a comment

2016 may go down for many of us as the worst year in history.

Like any other year, we lost another wave of musical icons. Only this time it felt more personal. Legends like Bowie, Prince and George Michael all took their final bows, leaving us reeling, and mourning in ways one might mourn the passing of a blood relative. I took Prince’s the hardest, shedding tears for days at the mere mention of his name.

For the first time in my life, it was as though part of my adolescence had died too.

We also had tragedies this year. Tragedies on scales unfathomable to most of us for the first time since 9/11.

Brussels. Pulse. Nice. Berlin.

Tragedies that once again left me afraid to live my daily life. Or, at least, wanted me to be afraid. But after losing 3 friends at Pulse on that horrifying June night, I made the silent vow to never, ever be afraid again. I vowed to never allow their deaths to have been in vain, and to walk with unwavering courage, every day, in their memory.

I vowed to never let hate win, by exuding love and acceptance in it’s place.

And then there was the election…

The election that would offer to us a new President that will no doubt challenge my aforementioned vows to the very core. Without getting too political, the division and fear this country has felt ever since has been enough to make my heart ache. And once again, for the first time, I’m dealing with a new set of feelings: Anxiety has replaced excitement when I think about the future. At least, for the next 4 years.

Simply put, 2016 seemed like a bad dream that none of us have been able to wake from.

So what does this mean for us, since this all is, in fact, our reality?

It means we persevere.

We grow.

And we take any of those current voids in our adolescences created by these events, and we fill them in with a renewed hope and passion for the things and the people we love.

And we make 2017 the year we come out stronger, by coming together. We replace bullying with encouragement. Hate with understanding. And rejection with sympathy.

Case in point- my New Year’s resolution has nothing to do with me specifically. Instead, I chose to make an effort impacting others in small but sincere ways. Through compliments. And while I recognize this is hardly earth shattering, I also know the difference this small gesture can make in someone’s day. Remember the video of the little girl telling the old man that she “liked his face”? Okay, so while that exact statement may not be my particular method, the genuineness of the act is exactly what this world needs more of.

Because at the end of the day one thing will always remain true: Life is beautiful. And we only have ourselves to blame for any inadequacies or injustices we may feel about our current situations. The truth is, you never needed a new year to take charge of your life, or to make positive impacts on the lives around you. Quit the job that you hate. Walk away from any negative energy. And forget about anyone who is incapable of seeing your value.

The biggest lesson from this year is how short life really is.

And as for the days when it seems like its a losing battle, well, just remember the words of the great George Michael-

You gotta have faith.

#BombshellCode, Beauty, Blogger Style, Dating, Fashion, Spring 2016

It’s a Date.

May 2, 2016 Liberata Leave a comment

Few things bring can be as terrifying as the challenge of determining what to wear on a first date.

I mean… except for the actual first date itself, of course.

But seriously- think about all the pressure that goes into one little outfit. This could be the man you’ve been waiting your entire life for. Or he could be a total idiot. Either way, you’ll be saying a lot about who you are simply by what you have on.

And who you are is a confident, sexy, bad ass woman.

Yasssss, girl, I see you!

Okay, but how exactly does a confident, sexy, bad ass woman dress? Well… that’s the thing. There’s no set definition anymore. Think about the last time someone walked into a room and you really felt their presence. Chances are when you picture them now, you’re not focused on what they had on, but rather the confidence, or power they exuded. You know right away that this person has complete control.

In other words, they’re secure.

They know who they are, and exactly what they have to offer.

As a result, what they’re wearing is simply a reflection of that security- and not a source of validation for it.

More importantly, these individuals aren’t dressing for you or anyone else, seeing that approval is the last thing they need. And that is exactly how getting ready for a date should be.

So now back to my original question- what are you going to wear?? I know that telling you anything is pretty much fair game these days doesn’t help much. But I do think having a firm understanding of how you want to feel does. First dates are already stressful enough. The desire to be the best “you” is understandable. And as much as we hate thinking of a first date like a job interview, it kinda is…

So we have to prepare for both the same way: with honest confidence.

Yep- the key word here is “honest”. In other words, throwing on a short revealing dress will almost certainly gain his attention. And probably everyone else’s too. Now, if that’s who you are, then you own that. With no apologies. I mean zero. I will never tear a girl down who is simply staying true to who she is. And if you’re a girl that loves to flaunt her curves then I support that. But if this is NOT you, then you need to back away from the bodycon dresses. At least for now. There’s plenty of time for that down the road.

So what I’m saying is- keep it casual. That’s right. This fashionista is actually telling you to keep it simple. Well, more like simple-ish. And just to clarify, casual does not mean you can look like you’re on your way to yoga. Even if that is who you are. (Unless of course your first date is actually going to yoga….) Because even a first date deserves the respect of effort on your behalf.

Effort = Interest

So what is considered casual?

First of all, casual should be looked at as an overall tone of the look, and not a uniform. Its a style that is literally in the styling itself. Casual can mean jeans and a t-shirt…. except the t-shirt is knotted to expose just the slightest hint of skin. Meaning, its a look that combines equal parts of both naturally sexy and effortlessly chic. As women, this is something we ALL have. Think of all the times you’ve heard men talk about how much more beautiful we are without makeup (lies…). Or how amazing we look in the morning when we first wake up (more lies…). Maybe we do… Maybe we don’t… Either way, I believe these opinions are based off of something deeper than simply the existence of one’s outer beauty. They’re seeing something more honest. Raw. Vulnerable. And that’s incredibly sexy to men. Because guess what- the real you is sexy. Yes girl! Eyebrows on fleek, or not. And keeping it casual on a first date is about as close as allowing a man to see you in those situations as you can get. Unless you actually wake up with him the next morning. Which would be frowned upon…

Though I’m still not casting any judgement.

So now the fun part…..

A personal list of my favorite coveted date night looks, perfect for just about any situation or mood. Find one that speaks to you and give it a shot. Because while I cant promise the guy wont turn out to be a total idiot, I CAN say these looks are positively fool-proof….

Denim

Ripped, skinny, boycut- they ALL work. Studies have shown this is the look men love the most. Not that we care. Because we wear what WE want to wear. So if you’re a denim kind of girl, this is all you.

Blazers & Cut-Off’s

Admit it- who doesnt love showing a little leg? But just like everything else in life, the key is balance. So go ahead. Throw on your shortest shorts. Just top off the look with a casual tee or tank. Add a blazer. And boom- you’re the girl next store, with a 401K. Now who doesn’t want that??

Dresses

The classic staple. And spring nights just beg for a flirty, flowing dress. If ultra feminine is your thing, then a romantic little dress is all it takes.

Leather

For my rocker babes. Because you like a little edge with your romance. Though a rebel at heart, deep down you’re a lover- not a fighter.

Bohemian

My personal favorite. Because I believe all a girl really needs in life is sangria and Free People.

Straight From Work

We’ve all been there. You’re running late, or maybe you’re just a boss bitch. But like any true hustler, you know how to make it work when you need some time to play and you’re short on time. A quick change of accessories and its game on…

Slay.

White/Black

Nothing basic or boring here. You just know how to keep things classy. I ain’t mad atcha… He wont be either.

Hair/Makeup

And finally, that last finishing touch. As you may already know, now is not the time to try any new looks. Tempting as it is to try something different, this rarely turns out to be a good idea in this particular situation. For instance, if you’re not someone who wears false lashes on the regular, don’t. Just don’t. And this applies to anything else you may be thinking about extending, enlarging or contouring.

Less is truly more here.

You’re welcome.

And there you have it ladies. Come hither looks that should be as effortless as your potential relationship.

No smokey eye required. No cleavage necessary.

Now get your fine self out there and turn some heads.

And steer clear of the idiots.

And remember that when all else fails in love, there’s still sangria and Free People.

______________________________

X

#BombshellCode, Confessions, Dating, Sorry I'm No Sorry

What came first, the relationship or the egg?

March 28, 2016 Liberata Leave a comment

Okay, so forgive the Easter pun here.

But since today’s holiday is basically centered around the idea of someone rising from the dead, I cant think of anything that’s harder for our generation to believe in than…

love.

Its true- we find the idea of love harder to grasp than the idea of someone rising from the dead. Because we also happen to be a generation where many find entertainment in preparing for a zombie apocalypse. So not only do we believe in it, we’re pretty much banking on it.

And honestly, the odds of me surviving an apocalypse are probably far better than my odds of getting married. Or at least, getting married one time and having that marriage last forever. And that’s pretty discouraging considering my only plan for zombie survival involves barricading myself in Barney’s, and happily living out the rest of my existence in couture. If time permits, I might even hit up a liquor store beforehand.

No, really- that’s pretty much my plan. So if you want to join me, bring food.

But back to my original point- Today, its love that has somehow become the miracle, where we need to see it to truly believe it.

But how will we even know it when we see it? In other words, what comes first- the relationship, or the love? Being someone that was raised on the idea that loves come first, I’ve pretty much gone through life expecting to meet someone, and somehow just knowing that they were “the one”. You know, the whole “love at first sight” theory. Except it hasn’t happened yet. So its made me think that maybe love isn’t something that is quite so instant and obvious. Maybe love is something that is brought slowly to life over the course of a relationship, through a series of shared experiences and consistency. In which case, maybe love is simply the byproduct of trust?

So what does happen when we meet someone? Maybe its not love at first sight, but its something, right? There has to be some reason that makes you want to continue seeing someone. Or at the very least, continue to eat food with them (since that’s what a lot of dating is). Maybe it is love at first sight, or… maybe its just lust. Or maybe, there’s just something about them, recognizable only to you. Researchers have suggested pheromones could be the culprit- apparently we all have our own unique scent, that only our “person” is able to detect. So not only do you have a fingerprint, you also have an “odorprint”. Which means love could literally be in the air between two people. Romantic? Yes. Helpful? Not so much, since sniffing someone is considered rude. Plus, these scents are generally undetectable, and only reach us on a subconscious level.

Moving on.

Maybe many of us have simply lost our belief in love as a result of our unrealistic expectations? Everything about our society today is based on instant gratification. Results need to be immediate for anything to be considered a victory. Where patience was once considered a virtue, its now no longer something we’ll even consider. We invest in liposuction over a gym membership, fast food over cooking, texts over phone calls, and one night stands over relationships. So why wouldn’t our feelings eventually begin to work on the same demanding schedule? Instead of getting to know someone over time, and slowly falling in love with the person for who they really are, we force the process and “fall in love” with the idea of who we want them to be.

I think I’m on to something here…

Going from personal experience, I have been a victim of this pattern countless times. And I’ll justify my use of the word “victim” here in just a second. You see, I’m not a serial dater. I just don’t see the benefit in dating more than one person at a time. One, its hard enough for me to find time to properly adult most days, let alone play games. Two, I actually enjoy learning about someone. And Three, I believe above all we need to actually be the person we want to date. So I’ll invest time with someone until it no longer works out. And this is where the word “victim” comes in. Because usually it stops working once the man I’m seeing slowly starts to morph into the man he actually is. He reverts. The impressive standard he set in the beginning with his actions begins to drastically lower. His priorities start to include things that were never a factor before. Words stop becoming actions. And finally, the things that were so consistent initially are now irrelevant. Usually the magic words “I love you” have been spoken at this point- probably as a way to deflect attention from everything else that is disappointing you. Except I never say “I love you” back- instead, I walk away.

There was no love at first sight, and there was no love created over time. In other words- he wasn’t “the one”. And no one should ever remain with someone because it feels better to them than being alone. Or because its convenient. Or worse- because you think its the kind of relationship you deserve. Obviously, its not fair to either party. But more importantly, being with the wrong person actually IS worse than being alone. Staying with the wrong person means you’re eliminating any possibility of meeting the person who IS everything you want. And that’s the most exciting idea to someone who is single. Regardless of whether love is instant or not, it is something you deserve.

So while I cant be sure what comes first- the love, or the relationship- I DO know that the presence of it is all that really matters. So keep dating. Stay positive. Have fun. Don’t let the pressures of how you think love is supposed to work determine your worth to anyone- including yourself. Walk away from anything that doesn’t make you happy.

Because when you keep your heart open and available to it, love will eventually find you. And just like your “odorprint” it will be up to you, and only you, to recognize it.

X

#BombshellCode, Beauty, Blogger Style, Bohemian, Fall Fashion, Fashion, Gypsy Soul, Prolific Quarterly, Spring 2016, Street Style, Trend Report, Winter Fashion

Its The Little Things…

March 23, 2016 Liberata Leave a comment

With another wave of Fashion Week’s coming to an end, I found myself really questioning what it is exactly that inspires and motivates designers. What separates their collection? What makes a look personal? Legendary? Iconic?? Because when you really think about fashion, like art, it’s really just another form of expression. So ultimately, what we’re seeing in a collection is a reflection of the designer themselves.

And out of all the fall collections this season, it was Chanel that struck me the most. Karl had once again outdone himself with a collection that gave a glamorous nod to the old school salon days. But it wasn’t just the clothes that had me in awe- it was everything. It was every minor little detail that would make one have to re-watch the entire show just to take it all in. It was the kind of accessorizing genius that made fashion feel fun and exciting again. But more importantly, there was an unexpected playful energy to the collection that was surprising for a historically drab time of year.

Chanel Fall/Winter RTW 2016

Also like art, runway fashion is typically exaggerated. Go big, or go home. With everything. And with that, trends are noted, trend reports are created, “Lust Lists” are made, and more muted versions will eventually trickle into our every day fashion lives come Fall. But that doesn’t mean that’s where the individuality and creativity stops.

No, darling, instead its just the opposite- its where the magic really starts to happen.

Which brings me to my original point of this post- that the presence of one’s style cannot be measured simply in the outfit itself. Anyone is capable of throwing on a LBD and pulling of “chic” for a night. That’s why its the safety net of fashion. Simple. Effortless. Classic. Standard issue.

Okay, great. But what does it actually say about someone? Exactly- not much at all. And that’s fine if you’re someone who prefers to blend. I’m not here to tell anyone how to live their life. But I WILL say never have I ever admired someone for their ability to pull off basic.

But “admire” might be too harsh of a word. Instead, its the ones that put the effort into the details that inspire me. Its the personal twists in accessories that make me see less of the clothes, and more of the person wearing them. It’s the small and tedious things many might just simply lack the patience or imagination for, that another will go all out with just because its who they are. Because its within those details that lie the true personality of someone. Its those interesting little twists that say so much about who someone is, or how they feel, without saying a single word. In other words- in a world full of LBD’s, it’s the small things that play a big role in making you so largely unique.

And isn’t that what we’re all striving for?

For my SATC fans, we know the show was famous for its [sometimes questionable] fashion. But you may remember there were a few pieces that made it through the entire run of the show because they represented the characters so well. Most memorable was Carrie’s necklace- it was such a huge part of her identity, it even became part of the storyline in the series finale.

Now fast forward to today, where the word “basic” is now an insult. Yet its amusing that we do so much talking to express who we are, and yet so little in letting it shine visually. And the best part about accessories? They can be as expensive, or as cheap as you’d like them to be. The price of unique finds is usually based on how much time you’re willing to spend finding them. For instance, if you’re someone who loves to comb antique and second hand stores (me, me, me!!), then you already know the gems that are waiting for you, often at ridiculously low prices. I’m talking cheaper than Forever 21 here. No, really. But what you save in the money department, you will spend in time. At the same time, if you’re someone who loves shopping (Again- me, me, me!!), this isn’t a problem. Though you’ll probably want to go on these adventures alone, or risk being annoyed by the inevitable whining from your boyfriend. But if you’re going for vintage one-of-a-kind pieces, this is the only way to go. Even flea markets have proven to be beneficial hunting grounds. And you can use going to one as an excuse to load up on fresh local produce- even if you only use the aforementioned fresh local produce to make organic mojitos. I wont tell.

Just be sure to make on for me….

Now its important to note, combing vintage stores is only good for collecting. You cant just go on a mission one day to find a particular piece and expect it to be hanging out at the antique store down the road. Accessories aren’t ice cream- it doesn’t work like that. Instead, these adventures are for “building”. They’re for days when you have some time to kill, an open mind, and you can simply look with no pressure for items that speak to you. And only you. I cant explain it other than, you’ll know it when you see it. Some of my favorite finds were completely unexpected, yet once they came into life, they made me question how I could have ever been “me” without them.

But accessorizing isn’t just about the actual accessories, but rather in how one uses them. Which brings me to my next point- literally anything can be an accessory when you’re creative enough. Think of how boring fashion would be if we only used things as they were originally intended? One example of this I think we can all remember would be Lady Gaga’s meat dress. Though I’m still not sure what the final verdict was on her daring choice (Did we love it…? Hate it…? Eat it…??). The point is, she took something conventional, and made it unconventional. She turned heads and made a major statement using something many of see every day. And while you don’t have to go as far as using actual food (please don’t use food) you can add major impact in other ways.

Example: A few days ago I was styling a shoot. I had the sudden idea for a particular look, but didn’t have the wardrobe with me to support it. Knowing that there was a secondhand store right below us, I ran down with my “I’ll know it when I see it” mentality. Within 5 minutes I discovered a silk scarf, and 5 minutes after that it was tied effortlessly around my model’s torso as a top. Going off pure instinct, it was the perfect addition to an outfit that was already a huge risk- and it all paid off beautifully. It became one of my favorite looks for the day, mostly because I know without a fact that look is 100% unique, born from a idea that was in my mind at the time- and there’s a lot of pride in that.

But every day can be like that if you’re willing to put forth the effort. There’s no photoshoot required for you to treat the entire world like its your personal runway. Because IT IS. And I need you to pay really close attention to this one- you don’t need to be a model to dress like one. You got that? You don’t have to be Lady Gaga to make a statement. You can do it every day, all day, in every unique way you can think of, and for any reason you feel like.

Like button-downs. Basic, boring button-downs. Someone woke up one day, looked at a button-down, and thought “What if I put this on backwards…?”. And so they tried it.

And it worked.

Then someone else took their button-down and thought “What if I tied the arms and turned this into a tube top…?”.

And that worked.

And so on…

You get my point here? Like the Field of Dreams of fashion, you just gotta build it.

So next time you feel like you have “nothing to wear”, or you’re bored with whats in your closet, just stop. Step back. And really take a look at what you have. There is nothing more exciting to me than the challenge of being able to create virtually any look I’d like with just a few well thought out pieces. Or wearing something in a way I never thought of before. Or pairing one piece with something totally unexpected. But that’s the trick- you have to care. You have to make the effort. You have to be willing to take chances. And you have to be willing to get it wrong sometimes. Because there really is no wrong when it comes to style, as long as you feel good about you.

Because at the end of the day, that’s all it should ever really be about anyways.

X

#BombshellCode, Beauty, Blogger Style, Bohemian, Fashion, Spring 2016, Street Style, Trend Report

Part 1: Spring Has Sprung….. Almost.

January 13, 2016 Liberata Leave a comment

A look at Spring/Summer 2016- what you need. NOW.

…

I’ll confess…

Spring has always been my favorite season. Never mind the warmer temperatures and longer days. Its so much more than that. Spring represents a time of new. Its as if Mother Nature finally wakes up after another long dull winter, takes a look around, cringes, and starts adding color and life to literally everything.

And you should too.

And what better place to start than within your own wardrobe. But be prepared to make plenty of room for this season’s trends. Cause you’re going to want them all.

You’re probably sick of looking at all those heavy, over-sized, curve-hiding, skin-covering pieces anyway. I AM. And that is EXACTLY why Spring is so damn amazing when it comes to fashion. Textures finally lighten up, giving way for shorter, sheerer options while colors palettes increase. I mean, REALLY increase. In addition to that, dresses become more playful. More girly. More exposed. Think flowing, draping silhouettes that will have you feeling Goddess status. Even the patterns amp it up with bold vibrancy, while accessories become more delicate. And finally, we get to trade the tired feeling of wool against our skin for something more sultry and feminine- silk.

If you weren’t already excited, you are now.

So what trends should you invest in now? If you’re like me, you collect clothes. Like an investor. You don’t shop- you build. You constantly keep your eyes open, slowly acquiring those cant-live-without-pieces to add to your collection. The show stoppers. The game changers. Its a little practice called “Buy now, wear later”. You have an entire lineup of stunners just waiting for the right occasion. Or, in this case, month. In other words:

You don’t buy the dress for the party- you go to the party so you can wear the dress.

#BombshellCode

So with that being said, lets take a look at some of the S/S 2016 trends you can count on to turn heads, no party needed.

1. Lingerie

You read that right. Except we’re not talking about the Victoria’s Secret type- people tend to frown upon you walking around in your bra and underwear. But this trend is as close as it can get. Because this season is all about the return of the slip dress. If you’re the bombshell type, you’re probably use to wearing these. Albeit, up until now, it was only at home when you were feeling casual and that was the best you could do. But now, even running to Starbucks in one is fair game. And a simple adjustment in accessories can take the look straight into night. Or, tone it down and keep it more boho with ankle boots. Because the best part about this trend is the versatility factor. Keep it as glam, or as quirky as you please- you’ll look amazing either way.

Pro Tip: To keep the look extra sexy and authentic, shop vintage. Not only will you score something unique, but the idea of a retro slip is sooooo much more chic.

Below, from top left, Chloe RTW S/S 16, Vintage, and Saint Laurent RTW S/S 16.

…

2. Modern Bohemian- barely there boho meets vibrant tropical prints

Once again, the bohemian trend shows no end in site. And I LOVE it. But this time, feel free to go wild with it. And by wild, I mean prints. Its Boho, but with a twist. Its less about the simplicity of pieces and lace details and more about dramatic details. Like birds. Or at the very least, feathers….

From left, McQueen, Gucci, Valentino and McQueen again (full sized).

But boho is more than birds and feathers right now. Its about embellishment. Whether its patches or patterns, color is key. And lots of it….

…

3. Pleats

If you suddenly got excited when I mentioned flowing fabrics earlier, than this look is all you.

Maxi dresses have never looked so lux. And who would have thought that something as simple as pleat would be the element to take a standard spring staple from comfy to flat out goddess. And the colors are a visual feast for everyone. Get ready to stop traffic…

…

4. Metallics

Accessory lovers, get excited. I mean, even more excited than you already are. Cause you get to have some fun this season. During Fashion Week, we saw everything from the return of spikes, to gloves, to beyond oversized statement necklaces. But one thing was consistent- the use of metallics. Bronze or pewter, they’re both on point. And even better when worn together. So mix it up, or tie your look together with one bold piece. Its all fair game.

Pro tip: NOTHING looks better against metallics than tan skin. But for the sake of safety, skip the tanning bed and hit Sephora instead. Get your golden glow on without a side of cancer.

So there you go, dolls.

These trends should keep you inspired enough to safely secure how you’ll be spending that upcoming tax refund. Personally, mine is pretty much as good as gone… Or at the very least, these ideas will keep you busy until Part 2. But just like everything else, spring will be here before you know it. And its always better to lead the way with fashion. So take these tips, and twist them into your own unique way to express yourself this season. Because just like I always stress, no matter your style, it should always represent you.

So… what do you want to say to the world this Spring?

Till next time…

X

#BombshellCode, Bohemian, Confessions, Gypsy Soul, Sorry I'm No Sorry

Cancel and Continue

January 1, 2016 Liberata Leave a comment

…

I’m on the pursuit of happiness…

New Years is always an interesting time. Some see it as an ending, others a new beginning. Both as a fresh start. Or, you just see it as an opportunity to buy a new outfit, drink champagne and make out in public acceptably.

I personally am all for the new dress part.

But above all, I see it as a time of reflection. A way to summarize how I’ve grown by the lessons I learned. And with that comes a chance to develop an action plan. Call it a Bucket List for personal growth. For instance, some days I think I have this whole adulting thing nailed. I made it to work, I drank actual water, AND I did laundry. Go me. And then there are days where I eat ice cream straight from the container with the freezer open and refuse to put on pants. And in all honesty- that will most likely be my game plan tomorrow. But pants or no pants, I’d still like to think that I’ve evolved into a slightly better version of myself over the last year. That I’ve gained a slightly higher awareness of who I am, what I can contribute, and who I still have yet to be.

Its called acceptance.

And its not easy.

Its not easy to accept that you spent another year dating guys that broke your heart. Its not easy to accept that you didn’t make time for that epic roadtrip to California. And its definitely not easy to accept that you lost some friends along the way, and you’re not even sure why.

But it happened. All of it. And you have to stop asking why. Life is too short for that.

And start asking: How are you going to use this to learn? To grow? To be better? To try harder?

And, most importantly, is this the year you’re finally going to stop kissing douchebags? Probably not, but still….

And so New Year’s is the time you take all the things that happened over the last year, the good AND the bad, and you put it behind you. And you carry on with only the lessons. Pants, or no pants.

You cancel and continue.

Below are the lessons I’m taking with me into the new year. And who knows, maybe this will be the year I finally meet someone, creating the most electric “Power Couple” since Becks and Posh.

Or maybe I’ll keep eating ice cream in my underwear.

Either way, I’ll be just fine…

And you will be too.

…

And now, my observations from my always beautiful-yet-slightly-confusing pursuit of happiness thus far….

Do what makes you happy. Whatever it is. People will criticize you either way. Accept it, erase it, and move on. It usually has nothing to do with you, but is rather a reflection of their own unhappiness.

Look for the highlight of your day, every day. Some are harder to find than others, but I promise- there will be at least one moment, every day, where you’ll find happiness in simply being alive. And that alone is worth it all.

Let it be. Whatever it is you’re holding on to- hurt, resentment, jealousy. Its in the past now. Keep it there.

Live in the present. In everything you do. Living in the past leads to depression. And waiting on the future creates anxiety. But being in the now could be pure magic- should you allow it.

My mother is my best friend. As I get older, it becomes increasingly clear how defining her love and guidance has been, and continues to be, in my life. Her love for me continues to amaze me. As does her patience.

Figure out what defines you. And own it. Then figure out how you can use it to help others.

You are enough. Whoever you are at this moment. Don’t ever let anyone tell you otherwise. Walk away from anyone who makes you doubt your worth.

Trust your gut. If you’re still in doubt, Google it.

If it doesn’t make sense, its probably not true. Its as simple as that.

Wear your heart on your sleeve. Don’t be afraid of who you are. Or how you feel. The people that are meant to be in your life will only value you more for it.

At the same time, knowledge is power. Be careful with what you dispense to others. And remember that those who talk to you, will talk about you.

Be the person you want to date. If you want honestly, give it. If you want love, exude it. If you want a one night stand, go on Tinder.

Say what you mean, mean what you say. Even those with nothing still have the value of their word. Don’t cheapen yourself. Or sell yourself short.

When in doubt, over-dress. Always.

Give. Whatever you can. As much as you can. Even if its just your time, I promise that there is someone out there who needs it.

Get to know your body. Love every inch of it. Do everything you can to take care of it. And let no one disrespect it. It is the greatest tool you will ever own.

Stop saying “I’m sorry” all the time. Save it for the times when you truly mean it. People will take it a lot more seriously.

Slow down. You will be amazed at all the incredible things around you, literally ALL THE TIME… if you just take a minute to see them. People ARE still good. Miracles DO happen. And wishes DO come true.

With the right chemistry, kissing is bliss. And cuddling is heaven. But doing either with just anyone will only leave you feeling cheated.

Choose wisely. When faced with a difficult decision, ask yourself which consequence you would rather live with. Go with that one.

Perception is reality. So pay attention. Make sure that the projection of your own self is something you’re happy with.

Remain optimistic. Especially with love. You’re going to get hurt. But don’t let it make you cynical. Keep your heart open. But protect it with all you got.

Don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. The race is long. And in the end, its only with yourself.

If a boy wants to see you, he will see you. That goes for calling, texting and any other form of communication including smoke signals. End of story.

Make some art. Whatever art is to you. Do it. Indulge in your creativity. It is the most personal and unique imprint you can leave behind. It will also most likely be the most cherished after you are gone.

Find someone you can be free with. Sexually, emotionally, physically, spiritually- and go fucking WILD.

But….

Be careful with who you exchange energy with. You can give a lot away while seeing very little in return. Reevaluate anyone or anything in your life that consistently leaves you feeling drained. Cut your losses and move on.

Learn how to communicate again. Stop texting. Be authentic. Make time to be genuine to those you care about.

Not everyone is going to know how to receive your energy. Make peace with that and move on. Never dull your shine for the sake of someone else.

Don’t be scared. Or anything. Or anyone.

Be kind. It will always be better to build someone up, rather than tear them down.

Travel. There are some lessons that can only be learned by taking yourself out of your comfort zone. These will be the lessons you will appreciate the most.

People change. Some for the good, some not so much. Only you can decide which one. Then keep it to yourself. Not everyone will take the same path as you. And that’s a beautiful thing.

Smile. Even when you think you cant, you can. Not only will you feel better, but you might help someone else out too. A lot of great things started with just a smile…

It really is the simple things. I’m talking about nature. Watch a meteor shower. Go to the beach at night. Hike every chance you get. Your soul will thank you.

Bob Marley’s 3 Little Birds. Live it, learn it, love it. Make it your anthem. Listen to it in the morning. Let it set the standard for your day.

Most of the apologies you’re waiting to hear will never happen. Forgive them anyways. At the same time, ask yourself if anyone is waiting on yours.

Its okay to be single. Its also okay to feel lonely at times. Both are temporary.

And finally-

You have done SO much better than you give yourself credit for. At the end of the day…or year, in this case, we all have things we wish we could change. Or do over. Or do again. There are people we will miss. And people we hope we never see again. But when you break it all down, and see all the experiences you went through, I hope it hits you-

You’re still here.

You survived. And you came out a stronger, better, wiser person for it.

So keep trying. Keep fighting. Keep believing in love. Keep planning your roadtrip. Keep banning pants. And above all, keep being a good person. Because if for nothing else, go into the new year believing this-

For whatever you put out, the universe will give you back 3 fold in return.

Its the Law of Attraction, darling.

And I’m all about that life.

Now go drink some champagne, cheers to life, and manifest something amazing for yourself.

And have a fabulous New Year- may it be your best year yet.

#BombshellCode

X

#BombshellCode, Dating, Sorry I'm No Sorry

“Why Are You Still Single?”

November 5, 2015 Liberata Leave a comment

…

Recently, I read an article about a teacher who quit her job after no longer being able to withstand modern teaching methods. She watched as her students struggled and became frustrated when they were all forced to learn the same methods, the same way, at the same time. The students who weren’t able to grasp concepts the same way as others who picked them up quickly felt like there was something wrong with them. They wanted to learn- it wasn’t for lack of effort- they just needed a different process. And preferring to look like the “bad kid” instead of the “stupid kid”, they would act out. Or, they would simply give up all together.

I couldn’t help but notice the similarities with dating these days.

In a culture where everything is instant, socially broadcast and easily replaced, its easy to figure out who’s in love…. and who’s single. Its also equally easy to feel the pressure of your status more than ever- because apparently, it says A LOT about you. Accurate or not.

And as someone happily residing in Singleville, I. Am. Over. It.

As I’ve mentioned before, in my group of friends, I’m “that girl“. Notoriously single, and rather comfortable with it, I’m used to being questioned and prodded by my friends like a circus monkey. I cant really blame them- my dating life is WAY more comical than anything you’ll find on Netflix. And I don’t mind dishing. Plus, it kinda helps me cope with the trauma from bad dates with clueless fuck boys. Yes, wine and laughter really does cure ALL.

But as open as I am about my failed romances- and I use that term loosely- there is one question that I find not only unnecessary, but offensive:

Why are you still single?

Um, gee, well, it might be that chain letter I never forwarded back in 1998. Or my inability to cook. Or maybe, totally unbeknownst to me, I’m actually insane. Plus, I kinda dig cats. Oh, and I’m also vegetarian?

Or maybe- how about this: What business is it of yours?

To me, asking someone why they’re single is really just a polite way of asking what’s wrong with them. Like my current status in life is so horrible and unimaginable, there must be SOME reasonable explanation. This is when people usually reply with bullshit answers to avoid pity and make them look less grotesque and more human: I work too much… I’m just focusing on me right now… I’m waiting for Adam Levine to become available again (please God!!)… So, just to keep things fair, I usually just answer the question with another question:

How are you still not?

Pow. And this is the exact moment where everyone can grab their popcorn and wait for the shit show to begin. Because apparently asking someone for a reasonable explanation on how they’ve managed to find someone to put up with their flaws is frowned upon.

And that right there is what we call a double standard.

You get my point? I’m not damaged goods. I’m not unlovable. And I’m certainly not crazy. I’m not anything but me. Like the frustrated kids in class, I’m simply operating on a different system. And while my system may not be the same as yours, I’ll still get the right answer.

(And by the way- is it not complete irony that I was in all Honors classes??)

My point is, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME. There’s no dark and twisty past. No fear of commitment. Except maybe to the wrong guy. So what if I haven’t followed a pre-determined timeline of dating, by basic methods, where the final exam is marriage. The SAT’s of love. And let me just say- there are quite a few of you that have already failed that one miserably.

Maybe I’m fine taking all the prep courses I can for now. So when the time comes to apply all that knowledge, I’ll knock it clear out of the park.

Maybe, while everyone else is cheating off each other’s papers, I’m simply concentrating on my own. On my time. My way.

And maybe… just maybe, I actually care so much about it, that I want to be the best one in the class. The Valedictorian of my life.

And in all honesty, looking back, my time being single has never been time wasted. I am someone who is constantly evolving. Constantly learning. Probably more so than others. And there has been no greater teacher than my time with my own self. And while I’m not saying there aren’t things to discover with the help of someone else, I am saying that you need to know yourself first. Cause any relationship prior to that isn’t a relationship at all- its a distraction.

So in case you haven’t caught on yet- being single has nothing to with anyone but ME. Forget the god awful quotes you read on Tumbler. You know which ones I’m talking about…

Yeah. Exactly. Stop posting that ridiculous shit. “Amazing” should be a no-brainer. It should be the bare minimum of traits in your significant other. It should not need a Pinterest board to remind you- or anyone else– of that. Instead, remind yourself of your own amazing attributes. They are SO much more interesting.

As we grow, we go through our own personal life experiences at different times. Our first date… Our first kiss… Our first love… Our second… Some people go on to Grad School. Some never even finish High School. These are the very factors that make each of us so beautifully unique. So why should anything else have an expiration date. There are no numbers stamped on me that say “Best by ##/##/####”. And yet here we all are, happily going on about our days, doing the best we can, trying to achieve our own goals. So just like all the other beautiful, unique factors that make you YOU, who is anyone to determine the timeline for all the things still to come?

So the next time someone asks why you’re still single- tell them the truth.

That you’re not single.

You’re fine.

In fact, you’re more than just fine-

You’re fabulous.

#BombshellCode

(Although I might start forwarding those chain letters- just in case… ;))

X

#BombshellCode, Beauty, Blogger Style

Bombshell Down- Surviving Cold Season Like A Boss

October 13, 2015 Liberata Leave a comment

Remember when you were a kid, and being sick was actually kind of awesome? You got to stay home from school, watch all the bad TV you otherwise weren’t allowed to, AND you got spoiled by Mom? And while being sick was never really fun, it was tolerable. Comforting. There was no real rush to recover, because there was no real rush for, well… anything.

And then you grew up.

And with growing up came responsibilities. Priorities. In other words- the inability to simply just disconnect from the world and recover for a few days. You discovered that life goes on, bills need paid, and empires need run. Even if you look (and feel) like an extra in The Walking Dead. Plain and simple- you realized that no one really cares.

Except Mom. Mom’s always care. 🙂 And I love mine very much for that.

So after being down with a cold for about a week, I discovered a few things about myself. Or my evolvement, rather. I learned how to power through and still give it my all. How to still handle business, even when the only deadline you care about is your own. But most importantly- how to still be a leader to a team that needed me, and deserves to have me at my best. All the time.

And I learned how to do it WITHOUT making myself worse.

So I’m going to share my tips on how to survive Cold Season. And not only survive it- but own it. Because like the old saying goes, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. Even if it is only your immune system.

1. HYDRATE

You should be doing this already. In fact, if you were doing it properly to begin with, you probably wouldn’t even be sick. That old saying you’ve all heard- if you’re thirsty, you’re already dehydrated? It’s true. And should never be taken lightly. But if you’re like me, you will happily choose an iced caramel macchiato over ice water any day. So I cant really blame you. But NOW is the time to start chugging. Well, don’t chug. But seriously- start drinking. A lot. We’re all smart enough to know the benefits of water at this point. But we also need to remember that it helps flush toxins from your body.

It also might help to know that you can infuse your water with things like lemon, mint, berries- so there’s no excuse for those that claim they don’t “like” water. That’s just stupid. You kind of have to like it- your entire body is practically made up of it. Look at water the same way you do an Hermes bag- with nothing but total love and admiration.

Personally, I like to mix mint and lemon in mine. For me, its all about presentation. I have a huge beautiful vintage glass pitcher that I keep in my refrigerator at all times. It was my Dad’s, and he was a BIG believer in drinking water. So it reminds me to never take my health for granted, and that doing something so simple as drinking water can (and will) make or break you. Plus, something about it always being there and ready to drink makes it so much easier. I use fresh mint that I grow myself, along with fresh squeezed lemons- those I did not grow myself. Honestly, I can barely keep the mint alive… Occasionally I’ll blend the mint with berries and a little honey for an extra source of antioxidants. And flavor. I’ve also been known to add small amounts of Sweet N Low. But the sweetener is up to you. My advice is to start off using it just to get in the habit of drinking more water in general, and then wean yourself off.

Keep a pitcher like this full and ready, and you’ll never have he desire to reach for anything else again. Accept wine. Which is totally acceptable.

#BombshellCode

2. FAKE IT TILL YOU MAKE IT

That’s right. Because even if you feel like shit, it doesn’t mean you have to look the part. And I know- that’s way easier said than done. Its hard to imagine even getting out of bed, much less mastering your standard AM beauty routine.

Relax- I gotchu girl. (Or boy!)

First, take your time. There’s no way around it. Your energy is depleted, seeing that your body is doing everything it can to fight off all those nasty germs. And you need to let it. But rolling into work looking like the troll that lives under the bridge isn’t going to make anyone happy. Now, we all wish that we worked at places where employers were sympathetic and understanding. If you’re lucky enough to have this, take advantage of it. Please. Stay home. Rest. And save your fellow co-workers from getting infected. Not to mention, yourself from being the asshole that got everyone sick. NO ONE likes that person. You’re now that kid that eats their hair in the back of the classroom- we ALL had one of those. Fortunately, I recently found myself with a company who cares, so I was able to rest for a day after being sent home. They didn’t want me to be that asshole either. But maybe you don’t have that leisure. Or sick time. Or anyone else to do what you do. So… lets get you ready for battle.

Take a hot shower. And I mean HOT. Its amazing what steam can do for the body. Not only will it help wake you up, but it opens everything. From your pores to your sinuses. And sinus pressure is one of the most unbearable symptoms of being sick. Dizziness, earaches… mine get so packed even my teeth hurt. But the steam will help loosen it all and will be a major factor in how well you’ll feel for the day.

DONT wash your hair. Save the energy. Dry shampoo is your best friend right now, if it wasn’t already. Zap your strands and let it dry. Then simply rough up your hair with your fingers for added texture and throw that mane into a messy topknot. Up high, down low, to the side- it doesn’t matter. Its the lifesaver of hairstyles simply because the messier it looks, the better. Its the IDGAF (but I kind actually do) look that we all know and love- so WORK IT.

My personal favorite-

Dress comfortable. Yes, this is your Get Out Of Jail Free Card for the fashionistas. No heels. No crazy accessories. No body hugging fabrics. If leggings are acceptable workplace attire, use it to your advantage. A cute off the shoulder sweater will keep you warm while still keeping you on point. But lets say you work in a No Legging Zone. That’s okay- find a maxi dress and pair it with a blazer. Regardless of what you choose, ADD A SCARF. Not only is it super comforting when your sick, but it will help keep your throat warm, and you looking chic. The bigger, the better. Plus, its easy to bury your face into during those inevitable times throughout the day when you feel like you’re going to die. PS- you wont!

Style tip– I like my scarfs with a lot of drama. In other words, LOTS of fabric and length so I can wrap it multiple times. But not a lot of scarves come this way, with the exception of blanket scarves. So to get that look, I simply take two scarves with patterns/colors that work well together. And I wrap them together. And boom- I have the perfect amount of extra body and thickness that you picture when you think of Fall.

Lastly- Makeup. Yes, I’m sorry, you still have to wear it. Just not as much of it. No, its not about vanity. Its about doing everything you can to make yourself feel better. Because you will literally feel better. And going out into public looking like a hot mess is not going to help you. Its my personal belief that if you feel bad about yourself, you cant help but look bad. At the same time, thinking you look bad, will make you feel worse. Its a no-win situation. So just avoid it. Take 5 minutes to a basic face- a little concealer and brightener can go a long, long way. Groom your brows, throw on some gloss, and handle it. Anything else will be a complete waste as you will no doubt wipe it all off after blowing your nose for the 50th time. But I promise- the effort here will be worth it. It feels pointless at the time, but you’ll be so glad you did once you’re at work. Plus, it will keep children from being completely terrified of you. If they weren’t already… 😉

Here’s all you need for a basic, yet flawless face:

(click on picture to enlarge)

3. GET TO WORK

When you’re there, let people know you’re not feeling well. No, don’t whine about it. We all hate that. Instead, let them know so they can steer clear and avoid catching whatever it is you have. Its courteous, and hopefully will earn you a slightly easier day. In other words, maybe an extra task that would involve staying late might be put off for another day. But again- don’t come across as whiny. Simply state the facts- “Hey guys, I’m a little under the weather today. You might want to email me anything you need. Me and my disinfectant will be in my office…”. Hopefully you have a good crew you will understand and will proceed with caution. Or you have a crew who couldn’t care less and will enjoy passing your cold around for the next 4 months.

4. REST

I cant stress this enough. You showed up. You played the part. You got shit done. Now its time to rest and let your body recover. No Happy Hour. No reality TV. No Empire marathons. No social media- no one wants to here you whine there either. Put your eye mask on, and just sleep. And hydrate. Sleep and hydrate. This will be your life for the next 24 to 48 hours. Accept it now and you will be well on your way back to Diva status. Or Boss status. Or if your like me, both.

5. TOTAL WORLD DOMINATION

You did it. You survived. Hopefully with a stronger immune system and greater respect for H2O. Get rid of any evidence that this cold even existed. Strip your bed sheets. Clorox everything. Stock your fridge with better, healthier foods. Sign up for yoga. Go for a walk. Consider this your chance to be reborn into a more health conscience version of yourself- forever invincible to colds, flus and men with no ambition.

But darling- above all- drink your damn water.

Your body is a temple, after all.

So start treating it like one.

X

#BombshellCode, Beauty, Bohemian, Fashion, Gypsy Soul, Polyvore

Bohemian Baby

August 12, 2015 Liberata 2 Comments

Free People for the Gypsy Soul

…

As I’m sure we’re all aware of by now- I’m a free spirit at heart. A self-proclaimed Bohemian Bombshell.

There is nothing I love more than a whimsical summer dress. One that reveals just the right amount of skin to be sexy, yet covers the right amount to still be worn in public. The deeper the plunge, the barer the back, the better. If the material is sheer enough that a equally stunning slip is required, I’m in festival fashion nirvana.

Maybe its my love of music. Maybe its my hippie roots. But there is no other style I connect with more.

I feel girlie. I feel sexy. I feel… free.

And as a result, there is no brand I love more than Free People.

Look Into The Sun Maxi, $98

…

I recently teamed up with David John Lantrip to capture some of my favorite pieces this summer. Each one radiates that iconic Free People feel with material so perfectly draped and flows so effortlessly, its hard not to spend your day twirling in circles on a beach. Though I might encourage you to throw on some Milky Chance and try it for at least a minute or two.

Here’s why-

To me, fashion should be an extension of your personality. Another way to express who you are. And just like your mood, you have the right to change that look, or vibe, anytime you like. At least, thats my excuse for why I have so many clothes. I have never once been that person who was able to decide what I wanted to wear the night before. Although I envy people that can- they must save themselves SO much time. But the fact is, I dress according to my mood. Or to change my mood entirely.

Wait- what?

That’s right. For instance, lets say I wake up one morning, and I feel…. less than enthusiastic about the day to come. Maybe I’m stressed. Maybe I just broke up with someone. Maybe I don’t even need a reason. Because I’m a female. Now think about what you might feel like wearing. I bet leggings, a messy topknot and a giant scarf sound pretty damn good right now?

Wrong.

Because being basic is the LAST thing that’s going to help you counteract everything the world is going to throw at you today.

So girl, you better walk your cute ass to the closet, pick out the brightest dress you have, along with the highest heels you own. Wear your most expensive lingerie. And attack this world with the best attitude you can summon while applying the perfect baby pink pout.

I challenge any of you to try this trick the next time you feel down.

And I’ll just go ahead and say it now- You’re welcome.

Now back to my original point…

You see, people make the mistake of dressing for the wrong reasons. And its usually for OTHER people. If you think you might be on of these individuals, please stop. Now. Because the truth is, no one that dresses for others can ever be confident with themselves. I don’t care if you’re a beacon of the RTW Fall 2015 Balmain ollection. It will never work unless you’re wearing it for YOU. And only you.

Which is why I connect so strongly with Free People. Every time I slip into one of their pieces, I feel like I’m gearing up for Coachella all over again. I feel calm. I feel natural. I feel feminine.

I feel beautiful.

And because of the neutral tones of their collections, there is literally no limit when it comes to accessorizing. Though I will admit, I’m an accessory junkie. And I have the stash to prove it. So if you’re sporting a plunging neckline, then attention should be drawn to it. (#BombshellCode) With layers of long delicate chains, carefully hanging at just the right lengths so each charm/pendant gets the admiration they deserve.

Or perhaps your dress is backless? Simply take those same necklaces, but flip them backwards. Or choose just one- preferably something big, bold and bright. Its an unexpected pop of color to highlight (and emphasize) one of the most underplayed, yet sexiest parts of your body.

Perhaps you want to go the minimalist route? That’s okay too. This is where unique pieces come in. Like arm cuffs and hand jewelry- these are all brilliant examples of individual pieces that often get lost unless they’re worn alone.

Maybe hats are your thing? Good. And if they’re not, make them your thing. Like, yesterday. And remember- the bigger, the better. Free People’s Ranchero Matador Hat (pictured on the right) is everything.

And dare we forget about bags?

Never.

Keep the bohemian vibe going with leather. Fringe will add extra drama. Plus, if you’re not into large bags, these will give the illusion of one without the extra bulk. And here’s a special treat for my fellow equestrian friends: this particular bag from Horse & Nail even features a two tone snaffle bit.

It. Is. Perfection…

Horse & Nail Altair Hobo at Free People, $890

So your maxi carried you through the day, but can it pack the same punch at night? You bet your sun-kissed cheeks it can. With a simple attitude shift with your accessories, you’ll go from flat out Boho to Boho-Chic. And trading your Hobo bag in for a compact clutch is the first step. This particular one from St. Xavier is like Alexander McQueen at the beach- it couldn’t be more perfect if it tried.

St. Xavier Zane Il Clutch for Free People, $98 (available in Gold or Silver)

And finally, lets talk about those locks. Thanks to a day of ocean air, you now have been blessed with hair so filled with body and beachwaves that even the most skilled stylist couldn’t duplicate. You smell like sunshine and salt and the last thing you want to do is ruin it. And you don’t need to. Simply pin back enough strands to keep your hair long and loose using a few bobby pins. Adorned or plain, there have never been so many creative options-

And by the way, I think this is the perfect time to talk about the latest trend for fall. One that I, for one, am already a HUGE fan of. Introducing the “Hun”. The half up, half down bun.

Go ahead and try not to fall in love with this look….

So in the end, the key to true bohemian style is simple. Literally. Its effortless. Comfortable. Confident.

THAT is what makes it so damn sexy.

Because Bohemian isn’t a trend. Or even really a style.

Its a state of mind.

So while the festival style will come and go as most trends do, true Gypsy Souls will be here to stay.

Probably twirling on a beach somewhere…

#BombshellCode

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Editor’s Note: Bohemian Baby was shot on location in Sarasota, Florida at Lido Beach.

Photographer- David John Lantrip

Model- Liberata Dolce

Wardrobe- Free People

#BombshellCode, Confessions, Dating, Model Life, Sorry I'm No Sorry

LUSTstoned – Style… or Substance?

August 3, 2015 Liberata 1 Comment

…

LUSTstoned

Having promised to always be honest with you, I’ll admit that I can be a little… superficial. I’ve chosen style over practicality (and rationalism) many times. I mean, come on- have you seen my shoes?? So its no surprise that I’m probably guilty of choosing the men I date in the same fashion. See what I did there?

I like the bad boys. The rockstars. The charismatic ones that specialize in seducing. And ultimately destroying. They’re charming, passionate, and intriguing. Their sex appeal is intoxicating. Being the object of desire to these men is like slipping into a brand new pair of Louboutin’s. Convinced I can match they’re complexity, it gives me a natural high. I’m not love stoned- I’m LUST stoned. I call these men “enigmatic”. You, on the other hand, would probably call them an asshole. I will eventually end up calling them that too. Except its usually after the storm. And just like hurricanes, they each have their own name. Some are more catastrophic than others. But the same warning signs are always there. And I’m the idiot that refuses to evacuate and later needs to be airlifted to safety. And by airlifted, I mean drink wine and vowing to never date again. Until the next one comes along. Because who knows- maybe he could really be the one??

LOL. Right.

I think I’ve been too busy treating men like accessories.

So here’s the real question- Why?

Well, before we can even try to answer that, lets get to the good stuff first. A look at a few of my recent examples. After all, if this is going to turn into a case study, you should be equipped with the proper information. That, or at the very least, it will bring you some great entertainment.

CASE STUDY #1: Hurricane Rockstar

Hands down, the Rockstar is, and always will be, my personal drug of choice. There’s something about a man with a guitar that eliminates all logic in my body and replaces it with pure stupidity. And like a true addict, I’ve dabbled in every field. From coffee house crooners, to Grammy winning A-Listers, they all leave me unable to process and react to their actions the way I would with other men. Instead, I chalk up their bad behavior to their bad boy way of life. Like being a musician of any sort gives them a get-out-of-jail-free card for being a dick. They’re not being unreasonable and selfish- they’re brooding and mysterious. They’re not broke- they’re starving artists, refusing to give up on their passion. Its endearing. Its admirable. Its sexy.

ITS ALSO A FUCKING JOKE.

And I’m proud to say my last rockstar was the one that finally landed me in rehab. For good. Unlike Amy Winehouse, I was screaming, “Yes, Lord, YASSSSSS!”. You see, I have this ridiculous habit of giving people way more credit than they deserve. I’m totally ignorant in the sense that I believe the person they are presenting to me is who they really are. And above all, I truly believe they are simply incapable of being cruel to me. Until they are. Yes, I’m that stupid. Or that hopeful. I’m not sure which yet. But I DO know this- when someone share’s your personal conversations for another woman to respond to, you need to erase that person from your life. Immediately. Because they either have the maturity of a 13 year old, the respect of a 5 star douchebag, or severe self-esteem issues. Because nothing remains more true than this- hurt people hurt people. All it takes is one very harsh look at reality, and an intelligent, handsome rockstar morphs instantly into someone who probably doesn’t care much about anyone but himself. And while I may be clueless with men, I am ON POINT with my standards in love.

With the quality of people I want in my life.

And, above all, the respect I deserve.

So in conclusion, someone so unhappy with their own life has absolutely no place in mine, guitar or not. Case closed.

CASE STUDY #2: Hurricane Full of Shit

I’m ashamed to even be talking about this one. Really. And I’m inviting any of you to come and slap me for even entertaining this tool as long as I did. And here, gentlemen, is where I will dispense the greatest piece of dating advice a girl can offer-

Never, EVER set the standard of the first date higher than what you plan to maintain after.

Case in point: Yacht Boy (as I shall refer to him) had pursued me for a while. Seeing him as wholesome and serious, I of course dodged every attempt like Mayweather in the ring. But he never quit. And as fate would have it, I ran into him one night. We ended up talking- really talking. And much to my surprise, we had a lot in common. It was then that I started to realize that maybe all the things about him I had initially run from were exactly what I needed. He was going to be out of town for a while, but we agreed to get together as soon as he got back. Of course, during his time away, we texted and shared pictures. Not of our bodies, but of our actual lives. Things that were important. It was…. nice.

We made plans for the day he returned home. Yep, you read that right. I wont lie- it felt incredibly good to have someone that was so excited to see me. He literally was driving, across states, to take me out. Understandably, he ended up running a little late. Given the effort, I didn’t mind one bit. When he picked me up (Yes, you also read THAT right- picked me up) he apologized, explaining that upon his arrival home, he was greeted to absolutely no power at his place. Wanting to keep his plans with me, he simply showered (a very cold shower in a very dark bathroom) and was out the door. Everything else he would deal with later. Whoa. Wait. Say what?? I’ve had to ask guys to change into actual jeans just to go out, because no, joggers are not acceptable date attire. And this guy risked hypothermia for me? And think about shaving- I knick myself just looking at a razor, let alone sliding it along my body in the dark. So I’m thinking this guy is even an absolute gentlemen, or a total fucking idiot.

Idiot would eventually win. It always does.

So as you probably guessed, we had a great date. So much so it led to a second date. At his place. With power, of course. Wanting to show off his culinary skills, he cooked a full course dinner and even made homemade ice cream for me. I know, I know- its almost too good. We would see each other a few more times after that, but something started to happen. Or, everything started to happen. To him. It seemed like making plans were impossible because he was sick. Or going out of the country. Or out of state. Or a family member had died. Or multiple. No really. Like, 2 in one week, I believe? Now, I might be a total asshole for saying this, but I call Bullshit. You’re either a terrible liar, or the unluckiest person around. Either way, its safe to say that you just got filed back into my “No Thank You” file. But EVERY FREAKIN TIME I shut that damn thing, he would come along, and say something to get my attention. Again. He knew how to keep me at just the right distance to string me along. And so the cycle began. He would set something up. I would believe him. Because he couldn’t possibly do it again. And then HE WOULD DO IT AGAIN. In fact, at the end, I think the only real reason I would even agree to see him was just to prove myself right about him. That he was a liar. And finally I summoned the courage to point out to him what I had already accepted. I reminded him of his effort on our first date. That he had set his own standard when it came to me. That he had kept his word and put me first when we set plans. And that he had failed miserably in ever reaching it again.

And I don’t date failures.

Bye, Felicia. Another case closed.

CASE STUDY #3: Hurricane HeadCase

I wont go into too much detail with this guy. Because unlike the others, this one actually hurt me. The others were comical (after the fact) and were certainly valuable lessons. But this one- I cant really explain what happened. Or why. Other than to say that some people are just bad. And probably have bigger issues going on in their lives than we will ever understand. You see, this was the guy that made the effort. And then went beyond it. When we talked, he didn’t just listen to me- he took notes. And would surprise me with things later. Like my favorite movie. Or a pillow I saw in a shop when we were out on a casual stroll. When I was sick, he made hour long trips just to bring me soup and ice cream- only to then snuggle me, letting me fall asleep on his lap. When it got too late, he would take me to bed, and would leave only after I had fallen asleep. One of the last times I saw him, we watched the sunset at the beach and downloaded stargazing aps. We spent the rest of the night talking about like and looking at constellations, among a few other late night beach activities. It was also the night he told me how he “really, really, really, really, really, really wanted this to work”. And I did too. No question about it. He told me what he needed from me, and I agreed.

And then he disappeared.

He went total ghost. It was, quite honestly, one of the most indescribable feelings to experience. A little anger, a little disbelief, a little sadness. All mixed with confusion. And hurt. It was a definitive moment where I had opened myself up. Became a little vulnerable. And let the walls down just a bit. And got smacked down hard. And all because I actually believed him. And started to explore my feelings towards him. And why wouldn’t I?

Easy- because I’m a normal, compassionate, loving human being. I don’t promise rose gardens to unsuspecting victims. I don’t stir up feelings in individuals just to stroke my own ego. And I certainly do not intentionally hurt others just to fill some void in my life. Maybe he was unhappy, and I was a temporary cure. When his ego was sufficiently inflated, there was no longer room for me. I’m sure whatever the reason was, it was justifiable to him. Otherwise, I believe I would have gotten an “I’m sorry” at one point. But like most sociopaths, I know now that day will never come.

So as much as I would like to blame all these guys, the obvious similarity they all have…. is me. So it brings me to my original question- do I choose these men because I truly see them as potential partners. Or are they all just glittery accessories, comfortable in the sense that I already have a good idea how it will end. And therefore, I never have to get too invested. I never need to get to a point where I can see them as a Potential Maybe, instead of a Inevitable Storm.

Personally, I think in the end, I’m still hoping for the Potential Maybe, that’s just lost in the Inevitable Storm. The storms we as females all have to go through. Because like a good margarita, I doubt we would appreciate the sweet nearly as much without the sour.

#BombshellCode

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#BombshellCode, Confessions, Model Life, Sorry I'm No Sorry

The Flake State- Sorry I’m Not Sorry….

July 28, 2015 Liberata 1 Comment

…

Flakes.

Its bad enough as a single female, I have to deal with flakey men. And, like, a LOT of flakey men.

But as a model, I also went ahead and added flakey photographers into my life. I mean, why not? YOLO! In addition to that, you can probably double the amount the average model deals with. Because I live in Florida. Also known in the industry as-

The Flake State.

And before you Photographers get all bent out of shape, I acknowledge models are just as guilty at performing this charming act of unprofessionalism. But here’s the problem I have with this situation. It seems as though Models are the ONLY guilty ones. At least, from the stories I hear. And for a while I believed that was the case. The same way I used to believe in Santa Clause. Or unicorns. Or that you can still have a relationship with someone you slept with on the first date. There I was, silently giving myself a gold star for my squeaky clean attendance record. Cause I was NOT getting one for my dating record. Obviously…

And then…. something happened.

But first, let me add, I promised when this site launched that names would never be used- I have no desire to blast anyone. I strongly believe that anything that cant be said to someone’s face is most likely an emotional thought, rather than factual. And therefore, irrelevant. But lets face it- if they’ve done it to me, they’ve done it to others. And eventually, they create their own reputation. So me trying to trash them would simply be a waste of my time. And truth and time eventually DOES tell all. But at the same time, I have zero problem sharing my experiences.

So lets take a look at those.

Starting with the first time I realized I had made a huge mistake in judgment. Not once. Not even twice. But THREE times. Yeah, I know, I bet my single status is starting to make more sense now, huh? But back to the original point. This particular photographer was new to the area. When he reached out to me for a TF shoot, I was hooked. His work was perfect- a little edgy, but feminine. And his use of natural light was flawless. Though he was known for his work in Fitness and Glamour, he was striving to shoot more Fashion. And I was desperate for Editorial (a hard thing to find in a state known for GWC’s and tacky sunset/bikini shoots). It was perfect.

Way ahead of the game, having already tapped into my bohemian side before it was a trend, I pulled pieces for a shoot that would make any gypsy soul jealous. Arm cuffs, kimonos, vintage sequined gowns- the options were literally limitless. I even sacrificed one of my own couture gowns by wearing it in the ocean while the sun went down behind me. Totally worth it. For the record- that’s MY kind of sunset shoot. Hundreds of images were shot in a span of 4 hours and 5 looks.

Needless to say, I was beyond excited to receive images of our work. He warned me he wasn’t the fastest at editing, to which I had no problem with. I tell everyone I work with- I don’t care how long it takes you, as long as give me what you promise, by when you promise.

Would you like to know how many images I received from that day?

2 fucking images.

In case you didn’t read that right, I’ll say it again- 2.

Of course, in the time it took to receive those TWO images, I shot with him two more times. Because I was still stupid then. And I received ONE image from each of those shoots. Let me clarify that once more time for the cheap seats in the back- ONE IMAGE PER SHOOT.

So, lets summarize my first lesson in flaking:

3 shoots in all. We’ll ballpark those at 8 hours total shooting time. 10 – 12 looks in all. We wont even go into prep time (hair/makeup), or the time it took to actually find and piece together each look. Oh, wait- how about packing and unpacking everything? And then there’s the gown I ruined. For nothing.

Wait, I’m sorry- let me correct myself. It wasn’t for “nothing”. It was for 4 images. Of which 2 of those I actually use in my portfolio.

Needless to say, there will never be a 4rth shoot.

But wait- we’re not done yet.

Lets fast forward to a year later. Feeling a little more seasoned, and armed with that charming experience, I’m a little more cautious selecting photographers. Or, so I think. It turns out I was still too incredibly stupid for my own good. Here’s Lesson #2…..

Again, I’m contacted by a photographer. Again, one that shoots a lot of Fitness, but has an eye for edgy concepts. Part boudoir, part fine art. In other words, I like what I see. He tells me he’ll be in my area in the next week so we schedule a day to shoot. I show up, armed with enough wardrobe and accessories that would satisfy all 3 Kardashians. We shoot for about 4, maybe 5 hours, using 6 looks in all. It is agreed that I will receive 2 images per look. We spend a little time going through them before I leave- the excitement over what we captured was obvious. While reviewing them, he opens up to me about his frustration with his visit to Tampa. He had booked multiple shoots during his visit there, however, as it would turn out, I was the only model to show. The others had all flaked. All of them. Huh??

I was shocked. Or rather, disappointed. Disappointed in the reputation these other models were creating for not only our area, but our industry. How does someone do that? Especially on someone so talented? So easy to work with? So fun?

I’ll tell you how. Maybe they didn’t flake at all. Maybe they just found out something about this guy I hadn’t. Before they could waste their time, money and wardrobe on someone who had no interest in delivering the results they were promised. Because in the end, I would receive a mere 3 images.

THREE.

Two of which are basically the same shot.

Now I should add I was careful never to nag anyone. In fact, this particular photographer bragged about how he purposely ignored and withheld images from models who annoyed him. Noted. Plus, I have no interest in images edited by an annoyed photographer. Do you really think you’re going to receive their best work? Sorry, Princess. Maybe I’m wrong here, but I want images that have been edited out of excitement. Passion. Enthusiasm. Clearly, this guy had lost that somewhere.

But moving on.

Looking back now, I realize there were a few things these two gentlemen had in common. The biggest being my confusion in how either of them were not making a living doing something they were so obviously good at. I’m no longer confused-

Their lack of professionalism and integrity will never allow them to be great.

In an industry so superficial and ego-driven, there is simply no more room left for liars. Because you can have the biggest ego in the room- so long as you can also deliver the results to back it up. Otherwise you’re just all talk with a few cool pictures on Instagram. From 2 years ago.

But even more frustrating is the thought that these individuals probably thought at one point “What’s she going to do about it?”. Well, nothing. Except when your name comes up I’ll be honest. I’ll explain how I did my part. And put every effort into our shoot. How I cared. How I drove an hour to meet with you. How I went above what you expected. And how you let me down by not caring about any of it. I’ll tell them how I strung along with promises of more images, when you “weren’t so busy”. Awww- You’re busy? So is everyone else. Let that be a lesson to anyone that uses that as an excuse- its insulting. If I can mange to deliver results, then I expect you to be able too. And if you CANT handle that, well, maybe you need to pick a new career. This applies to flakey models, as well.

So in the end, I have accepted those shots are long gone. I no longer stress or get upset when I think about all the wasted potential. Because I know I did my job.

And I did it well.

Probably better than they deserved.

In short, I learned that sometimes the lessons that come from shoots are deeper than just poses and angles. That they can benefit more than just your portfolio (if youre lucky enough toeven HAVE anything for your port). Sometimes they simply provide experience in making better decisions in the future. And they CERTAINLY teach you about integrity, and how crucial it is for your reputation.

Because in the end, regardless of your talent, the true value of you as a model/photographer is only as good as your word.

Because, baby- there is no filter for poor ethics.

And no makeup to cover that ugly heart.

All that’s left for you now is the reputation of being just another unreliable flake.

Remember that.

#BombshellCode

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#BombshellCode, Beauty, Fashion, Polyvore

You’re Making Me Blush….

July 26, 2015 Liberata Leave a comment

A classic Bombshell look.

Soft. Sexy. And hugs every curve like it should.

With an unexpected statement necklace so bold, I had to style an entire outfit around it.

Featuring a bag from Valentino, and classic gladiator heels from Giuseppe Zanotti, this is THE ultimate in sexy sophistication.

Try to keep his hands off you…

You’re Making Me Blush…. by liberatadolce featuring a studded leather purse

Glamorous white summer shirt
$23 – glamorous.com

Pink skirt
$29 – bardot.com.au

Giuseppe Zanotti dress sandals shoes
amazon.com

Valentino studded leather purse
luisaviaroma.com

Givenchy wrap around bracelet
$610 – farfetch.com

Chanel metal jewelry
tradesy.com

Brown jewelry
$200 – youheshe.com

Henri Bendel pave jewelry
henribendel.com

Michael Kors red gold ring
$140 – johnlewis.com

Coin necklace
1stdibs.com

Christian dior lip gloss
lordandtaylor.com

Miller Harris floral perfume
net-a-porter.com

#BombshellCode, Beauty, Fashion, Polyvore

On The Prowl….

July 26, 2015 Liberata 1 Comment

Go ahead.

Let your wild side out.

Accentuate a curve hugging pencil skirt with plunging necklines and bold accessories.

With pieces that range from Cavalli to Versace, your body will never know such worship from admiring eyes.

Because as women, we like to feel- and look- fierce.

On The Prowl… by liberatadolce featuring high heel boots

Boohoo crop top
boohoo.com

Versace skirt
theoutnet.com

Giuseppe Zanotti high heel boots
barneyswarehouse.com

La Regale black handbag
nordstromrack.com

Effy Collection black diamond ring
macys.com

Black stud earrings
1stdibs.com

Roberto Cavalli choker necklace
$1,030 – forzieri.com

Gold jewelry
1stdibs.com

Michael kors belt
therealreal.com

Givenchy nail polish
barneys.com

#BombshellCode, Beauty, Confessions, Fashion, Model Life, Uncategorized

Modeling- Vanity? Or Lesson in Humility?

July 24, 2015 Liberata Leave a comment

A Pivotal Moment….

Every model has some story about how they were “discovered”. For me, it was a little different. I had always been told by friends and family that I should model- that I was “so photogenic”… and “so pretty”. And my obsession with fashion magazines only encouraged them. What they didn’t know was that I was extremely insecure. What others saw as vanity was actually only self conscience attempts to hide every flaw. And even though I had all this encouragement, nothing could make me see it till I myself started to see it too. Ironically, it was the other models in my fashion magazines that finally helped me do this. They inspired me. Pushed me. Challenged me. Not to be like them physically- I was insecure, not stupid. But to be part of something beautiful. Iconic. Extraordinary. Like the old school Guess? ads we all know and love. It wasn’t about being the actual girl in the picture- it was about the entire image itself. To me, every ad campaign from Gucci, YSL, Chanel, Versace… it was all ART. And I wanted a to be a part of it SO bad.

Fast forward to a few years later….

My best friend is marrying the man of her dreams, and I’m the Maid of Honor, just like we had always promised each other. Now, for the average BFF, this is already a big job. Like, huge. And tough. Because its also the one time you knowingly, and very lovingly, have to tone down your look for the big day. Because its not about you. In other words, you have to look amazing, without actually looking amazing. YOU are the accessory. You’re the Chanel clutch (classy, simple) carried next to a Balmain dress (jaw-dropping gorgeous).

But that’s okay- cause I happen to love Chanel.

However, the job duties become even more challenging for someone like me. Because I’m the fashion queen in the group, my friends have always come to me with dilemmas. Especially for big events. So naturally, when it comes to my dress for the big day, no one wants to tell me what to wear. (Even though I promise I would if they did… I think… Okay, I might customize it a tiny bit…) So as anticipated, I’m given free reign from the Bride to find my own Maid of Honor dress. Her only request is simple- it has to be purple.

Easy for anyone else. For me- it’s my new fashion conquest.

This launches me into one of those epic fashion searches I’m famous for. And this is why I say that this particular responsibility is so much harder for someone like me. This isn’t merely just about finding a purple dress. Its about finding THE purple dress. Its about the finding the most perfect, amazing, purple dress that was ever stitched together. Its about finding the perfect dress so my Best Friend’s day is EVERYTHING she ever dreamed it would be. Because this is a day where details matter- and I’m now one of those details.

With images of terrifying bridesmaid dresses from the 80’s swimming in my head, I know the one most critical factor is to stick with something classic. Timeless. Simple. Something ageless that wont send shivers down children’s spine when they look at their Grandparents wedding pictures years from now. I can honestly tell you I have had nightmares involving those puffy sleeves… to a fashionista, they’re legit scarier than any clown.

And this is when it all happens.

I think I’m at my 35th bridal shop. I’m giving the same speech to the assistant- “…..purple. Any shade, but not too dark… long and floaty… unique, but classic… mermaid preferably…. do you have anything backless?”. This particular shop also carried pageant gowns, so I was feeling rather positive. At the very least, there would be some unique gowns to slip into and pretend. It’s like playing “Dress Up” for grown ups. So I’m in heaven, trying on gown after gown while the assistant feverishly pulls more- her determination was quite impressive. High on fashion endorphins and lost in the thrill of sequins and sinfully plunging necklines, I started to lose focus. As I admire the latest body-hugging contestant in the mirror, I suddenly realize- this dress is gold…?? Wait, what is happening? Purple… we need PURPLE!! It is then that I realize another woman is watching this parade of pageant gowns- the owner. Before I can even call for the assistant to redirect her focus back to the original mission, the owner comes to me. Turns out she had just received a new season of gowns and wanted to see them on someone. And because of my body type, I was “perfect”. Perfect meaning “big boobs, small waist and can squeeze into sample sizes”.

At the same time, a photographer was also in the shop. He shot a lot of weddings and worked with the owner of the boutique quite often. My impromptu fashion show had caught his attention. “Have you ever modeled before?” he asks. I laugh. Of course. Cause that’s what I do when I’m nervous. Or on the spot. Crazy right? I bet you thought modeling was all about vanity and self-centered attention. Wrong, wrong, wrong…. but more on that later.

I’m not sure what it was. I had been asked before. Many times before. Maybe I was just in the right mood. Maybe I was feeling all this good wedding energy. Maybe it was just simply meant to be. But I agreed to shoot with him. And just like that, it all started.

So while I didn’t find the perfect dress there, I did find something. An opportunity. A crossroads that actually became one of the most pivotal moments in my life thus far. I often wonder if the insecure side of me would have won that day, and I had said “no thank you”. Who would I be right now? Where would I be right now? What great things would I have accomplished in lue of my experiences as a result of saying “yes”? I’m not saying I’m a better person as a result- just a different person. A stronger, slightly more confident version.

Earlier I mentioned vanity. And how utterly incorrect it is to associate it with modeling. Or at least with MY modeling. I’m sure there are those who simply just enjoy having their picture taken. Who relish the attention of being the primary focus. And that’s okay- to each their own. But to assume that’s the agenda of every model is not only inaccurate, it’s unfair. I’m somewhere on the opposite end of the spectrum. You see, shoots have become a personal challenge for me. A way of growth. Of acceptance- of who I am both physically and mentally. There is no hiding from my flaws- only brutal honesty. I give up total control of how I will be presented when all is said and done. Or shot, rather.

Take a selfie for instance. We are ALL guilty of them, so bare with me here… When someone takes a selfie, they take multiple shots, right? Go on, you can admit it. I bet you even have a favorite side you prefer. You then choose the one you like best. The one that has the perfect angle. It hides what you don’t want to show, or if you cant hide it, well… you can find a filter. Or, it accentuates, or points to, what YOU want to feature. My point is, you don’t take a selfie without the intention of putting the best “you” out there.

Modeling is pretty much the opposite of that. Its like taking all those shots, never looking at them, and giving them all away to someone else so they can do whatever they want with them. Scary, right?

Yeah- that’s what I thought.

Now lets take it one step further. Think about the person that has those images. They’re zooming in on all the things you would be mortified for someone to notice. Think about your date walking up to you and pointing out that pimple you thought you covered. Or that stretch mark on your hip. Or the dimples on your thigh. Or… you get the point.

That’s how vulnerable and exposed I feel every time I step in front of the lens. My guard comes down, and the brutal physical honesty comes out. The imperfections. The flaws. Remember when you first heard your voice from something recorded? You probably thought something like “That’s not how I sound?! Is it…??”. That’s pretty much how I felt in the beginning when I looked at raw shots. I was forced to see myself in ways I had always avoided before. Or ignored. I saw the real me. I saw myself through another person’s eye. The good… the bad… the flaws. Or what I use to consider flaws. Slowly they have turned into love and acceptance. Not totally- but I’m more forgiving of myself then I ever thought I would be capable of.

So in short- for me, its a lesson in humility, as my Dad would say. Its a glimpse at reality. The sometimes very brutal truth, depending on the lighting. The truth where there is no capturing your “good side” (mine is my left). Because they will capture every side.

At the same time, its also an opportunity to open yourself. To let parts of yourself out that you normally try to silence. An opportunity to accept yourself. An opportunity to creatively express emotions or feelings. Some of my favorite shots are simple candid moments between me and the photographer. Maybe we were sharing a cigarette. Or talking about my most recent boyfriend. Maybe we were simply musing about the future. And that is where the challenge comes from. With everything I have discovered and accepted about myself, why would I even think about stopping? Especially when I know its just the beginning. I want to dig SO much deeper.

And the best part? I have images as personal proof of my evolution. Some good, some bad- all special.

Just something to consider the next time you want to call a model Vain. Perhaps its YOU that needs to dig a little deeper as well?

Like the great Karl Lagerfeld once said, “Change is the healthiest way to survive”.

And for those still wondering, of course I found “the perfect dress”. A beautiful creation by Vera Wang, and customized with a vintage brooch. I was the perfect accessory, to the perfect wedding, of the perfect couple (I love you!!).

So remember, whether your searching for a dress, or self acceptance, just follow your natural instinct. Do what feels right for YOU. Don’t be afraid to take chances. And never miss out on a chance to discover more about yourself.

Because perseverance will ALWAYS pay off.