Few things bring can be as terrifying as the challenge of determining what to wear on a first date.

I mean… except for the actual first date itself, of course.

But seriously- think about all the pressure that goes into one little outfit.  This could be the man you’ve been waiting your entire life for.  Or he could be a total idiot.  Either way, you’ll be saying a lot about who you are simply by what you have on.

And who you are is a confident, sexy, bad ass woman.

Yasssss, girl, I see you!

Okay, but how exactly does a confident, sexy, bad ass woman dress?  Well… that’s the thing.  There’s no set definition anymore.  Think about the last time someone walked into a room and you really felt their presence.  Chances are when you picture them now, you’re not focused on what they had on, but rather the confidence, or power they exuded.  You know right away that this person has complete control.

In other words, they’re secure.

They know who they are, and exactly what they have to offer.

As a result, what they’re wearing is simply a reflection of that security- and not a source of validation for it.

More importantly, these individuals aren’t dressing for you or anyone else, seeing that approval is the last thing they need.  And that is exactly how getting ready for a date should be.

So now back to my original question- what are you going to wear??  I know that telling you anything is pretty much fair game these days doesn’t help much.  But I do think having a firm understanding of how you want to feel does.  First dates are already stressful enough.  The desire to be the best “you” is understandable.  And as much as we hate thinking of a first date like a job interview, it kinda is…

So we have to prepare for both the same way: with honest confidence.

Yep- the key word here is “honest”.  In other words, throwing on a short revealing dress will almost certainly gain his attention.  And probably everyone else’s too.  Now, if that’s who you are, then you own that.  With no apologies.  I mean zero.  I will never tear a girl down who is simply staying true to who she is.  And if you’re a girl that loves to flaunt her curves then I support that.  But if this is NOT you, then you need to back away from the bodycon dresses.  At least for now.  There’s plenty of time for that down the road.

So what I’m saying is- keep it casual.  That’s right.  This fashionista is actually telling you to keep it simple.  Well, more like simple-ish.  And just to clarify, casual does not mean you can look like you’re on your way to yoga.  Even if that is who you are.  (Unless of course your first date is actually going to yoga….)  Because even a first date deserves the respect of effort on your behalf.

Effort = Interest

So what is considered casual?

First of all, casual should be looked at as an overall tone of the look, and not a uniform.  Its a style that is literally in the styling itself.  Casual can mean jeans and a t-shirt…. except the t-shirt is knotted to expose just the slightest hint of skin.  Meaning, its a look that combines equal parts of both naturally sexy and effortlessly chic.  As women, this is something we ALL have.  Think of all the times you’ve heard men talk about how much more beautiful we are without makeup (lies…).  Or how amazing we look in the morning when we first wake up (more lies…).   Maybe we do… Maybe we don’t…  Either way, I believe these opinions are based off of something deeper than simply the existence of one’s outer beauty.  They’re seeing something more honest.  Raw.  Vulnerable.  And that’s incredibly sexy to men.  Because guess what- the real you is sexy.  Yes girl!  Eyebrows on fleek, or not.  And keeping it casual on a first date is about as close as allowing a man to see you in those situations as you can get.  Unless you actually wake up with him the next morning.  Which would be frowned upon…

Though I’m still not casting any judgement.

So now the fun part…..

A personal list of my favorite coveted date night looks, perfect for just about any situation or mood.  Find one that speaks to you and give it a shot.  Because while I cant promise the guy wont turn out to be a total idiot, I CAN say these looks are positively fool-proof….

Denim

Ripped, skinny, boycut- they ALL work.  Studies have shown this is the look men love the most.  Not that we care.  Because we wear what WE want to wear.  So if you’re a denim kind of girl, this is all you.

Blazers & Cut-Off’s

Admit it- who doesnt love showing a little leg?  But just like everything else in life, the key is balance.  So go ahead.  Throw on your shortest shorts.  Just top off the look with a casual tee or tank.  Add a blazer.  And boom- you’re the girl next store, with a 401K.  Now who doesn’t want that??

Dresses

The classic staple.  And spring nights just beg for a flirty, flowing dress.  If ultra feminine is your thing, then a romantic little dress is all it takes.

Leather

For my rocker babes.  Because you like a little edge with your romance.  Though a rebel at heart, deep down you’re a lover- not a fighter.

Bohemian

My personal favorite.  Because I believe all a girl really needs in life is sangria and Free People.

Straight From Work

We’ve all been there.  You’re running late, or maybe you’re just a boss bitch.  But like any true hustler, you know how to make it work when you need some time to play and you’re short on time.  A quick change of accessories and its game on…

Slay.

White/Black

Nothing basic or boring here.  You just know how to keep things classy.  I ain’t mad atcha…  He wont be either.

Hair/Makeup

And finally, that last finishing touch.  As you may already know, now is not the time to try any new looks.  Tempting as it is to try something different, this rarely turns out to be a good idea in this particular situation.  For instance, if you’re not someone who wears false lashes on the regular, don’t.  Just don’t.  And this applies to anything else you may be thinking about extending, enlarging or contouring.

Less is truly more here.

You’re welcome.

And there you have it ladies.  Come hither looks that should be as effortless as your potential relationship.

No smokey eye required.  No cleavage necessary.

Now get your fine self out there and turn some heads.

And steer clear of the idiots.

And remember that when all else fails in love, there’s still sangria and Free People.

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